Mind your own business

Have you ever heard of somebody called Nosey Parker? Or one Mrs. Grundy? If you have not I am sure one day you will. One thing most of us cannot successfully do is mind our own business. If you ask me the truth I would say we are in some measure fond of being busybodies: people who take interest in what is happening to others and interfering with suggestions and advice. We live under the delusion that we are very wise and capable, while others around us are not. Therefore we are liberal with advice, sometimes genuinely required. at other times not needed and perhaps all the time not heeded.

The worst of it is that when our help or advice is needed we are afraid to give it. There may be various reasons. We are afraid perhaps because the person who is in need of it is some person of significance and thus we are not willing to bell the cat even if the cat is raising a storm round its head. At other times we find it convenient to mind our own business if giving advice or help involves danger or the risk of disfavor. We keep ourselves to ourselves and do not extend some friendly human warmth or understanding.

Similarly, if there has been a roadside accident and someone is badly injured most of us is afraid of being involved in a police case and therefore do not attach importance to the person who may be dying. Similarly, if there is a fight or theft, or some other episode requiring physical courage, many people stay away. The cases which I have cited above are not the ones justifying the keeping of oneself to oneself. Where courage and support are required we should not find a convenient excuse by saying that we are minding our own business.

Minding one’s own business is important in many other spheres. It is no concern of ours if the little boy in the neighboring house has broken somebody’s pane, or the boss’s daughter is marrying a factory hand. It is no concern of ours if the lady across the street is a year older than her husband or the local grocer is a millionaire. We should not really be bothered if Nancy has failed in the examination. These are insignificant things in life and if we interfere we will only be adding fuel to the fire and causing a great deal of trouble. In such affairs, one should be reserved and stick to one’s own affairs.

But there is also a time and a place not to mind one’s own business. The emotional or social reserve should not bind one to the needs of the others. In Western society, there is an undue emphasis on strictly sticking to one’s business and this has resulted in the loneliness of the old people who live either by themselves or in homes for old people. It is a matter of concern and also of deep regret that men have not yet learned to discriminate when to speak up for others, when to interfere and advise and when not to do so. For those of us who lack the finer sense of judgment, it would be wise to mind one’s own business.